So i plan to try and do an update of me every 2 weeks on my blog to get more into routine in my life. For the last few years i realized i was very depressed and frustrated, from university i would go in and do my mathematics side of my degree and go to my Computer Science classes and hope to learn from these to understand what the updates in my debian system meant like changes to libc for security reasons then once 2nd year hit, it became very obvious that university wasn’t going to teach me the skills i wanted or hoped. So i took things into my own hands and threw my self into ~4 years of solid learning on my own and university kind of took a back step.
I have no regrets in the choices that i made, doing what i have done has opened so many more doors for me in my life than anything else has in my life, including university. These days so many students go to university especially science related topics and dont get a related job from it in the end. I can say for me i know i am good at programming, i know i love it; i know i want to do this for the rest of my life as a career not many people at my age can say anything like that about themselves. For me i never wanted to blame university to not get where i wanted to be in life. If it wasn’t for me taking so much time to learn on my own i wouldn’t have become a decent GCC hacker with server access etc. Mentored by Ian Taylor a well know free software hacker. I took my until june this year to break a lot of depression i had in my life and to accept my failing at university i felt like i had let down my whole family so much when i failed a module, it was when i tried the absolute hardest i possibly could at an applied math module at university and it didn’t pay off and there didn’t seem to be anyone to help you or talk to about it. That was in my 2nd year and that was when i really pushed my self into open source and free software.
It feels good to just talk about it and it doesnt make me feel sad anymore, i am back at university this year i should have been finished now but i failed all my modules last year it really took the biscuit if i am honest, i realised even more so that there is no chance students can learn anything useful from university, well at least from my university if you compare what others do. But yeah the long and short of it is i only need to pass 4 modules now this year to finish up my degree and i will be finished. Its hard for me but i will do it there is so much i want to do this year so i am pushing my self into alot of work to keep my mind active and my self in a routine.
It scares me how much power your mind has over your body, when getting over all my depression i feel so much better in every day life. Its like i can see again but anyways enough of me blabing on i have lots of gccpy updates to post so i will do that over the coming weeks.
Keep your chin up Phil. I left education a few times myself back in the day, not so much because of the work but just the personal load. I think too many people rely on going to Uni for the education, when they should mainly use it as a tool in educating themselves. Struggled with Depression myself so I know how that is and how it can drain the colour out of everything.
Glad to hear you are getting a compass-bearing. Some people never do.
Thanks dude means a lot